Shakerules Diaries

BEFORE – You take my breath away.
AFTER – I feel like I’m suffocating.

BEFORE – She says she loves the way I
take control of a situation.
AFTER – She called me a controlling,
manipulative egomaniac.

BEFORE – Don’t stop.
AFTER – Don’t start.

BEFORE – Is that all you’re having?
AFTER – Maybe you should have just a
salad, Honey.

BEFORE – $60/doz.
AFTER – $1.50/stem

BEFORE – We agree on everything.
AFTER – Doesn’t she have a mind of her own?

BEFORE – Victoria’s Secret
AFTER – Fruit-of-the-Loom

BEFORE – I love a woman with curves.
AFTER – I never said you were fat.

BEFORE – Time stood still.
AFTER – This relationship is going nowhere.

BEFORE – You look so seductive in black.
AFTER – Your clothes are so depressing.

BEFORE – I can hardly believe we found each
other.
AFTER – I can’t believe I ended up with
someone like you.

BEFORE – Passion
AFTER – Good Night

BEFORE – Once upon a time
AFTER – The end

© 2011, Shakerules Diaries. All rights reserved.